never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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