Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
