Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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