Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize