I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize