He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize