Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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