i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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