so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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