ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
