Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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