She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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