Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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