just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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