Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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