we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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