I want to walk on stilts...naked
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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