it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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