im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
