well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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