4 words: hood of his car
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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