We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Houston, we have a squirter
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
