I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
