omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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