I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
