I wish i was in the wii world.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
