For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
