my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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