Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
