3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
