You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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