get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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