Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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