dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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