You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're using joints as your birthday candles
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize