I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
50% drunk capacity currently
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
