So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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