I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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