Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
