...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
