so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize