the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This baby is an asshole
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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