Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
