Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
