yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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