I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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