I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize