I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
