i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
