new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
there is another microwave in the elevator.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
