Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
