At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
