I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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