Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
