He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
