I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
