D3 body, D1 cock
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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