yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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