so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
