Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
