fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
