I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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