Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
