I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Alive.
So much puke
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
