I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
