you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
